


Beast

by shameonme23



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Baby Durins, Emotional Abuse, Lion!Fíli, M/M, Sorry guys, Thorin is an asshole in this one, a Frozen ripoff, shapeshifter AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-04-08 07:53:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4296723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shameonme23/pseuds/shameonme23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically I stole the plotline from Frozen (I couldn't let it go......see what I did there hehe) only instead of snow and ice there's fur and claws...and purring, lots of purring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm going ahead and posting this here though I'm not going to make any promises to keep up with regular updates 'cause I suck. 
> 
> Any and all mistakes are mine. Unbeta'd. Tags and rating may be edited as we go along.

The mountain lay in peaceful silence under the moonlight. Only one young dwarfling remained unsettled by the calming night. 

Kili, the youngest dwarf prince of the line of Durin tossed and turned in his large bed. He couldn’t sleep. His limbs were restless and no matter how many sheep he counted his brain wouldn’t turn off and allow him rest. 

Sighing, he threw back his fur coverings and slid carefully to the floor. He hissed as his bare feet hit the cold stone and he quickly scrambled across the room to his older brother’s bed. He jumped and clawed his way up onto the mattress and then sat in the middle of the bed watching his brother’s sleeping form.

Fili was only slightly taller than Kili but he always seemed larger than life when they were running about the castle, following Thorin like tiny, mischievous shadows.  
When he was sleeping however, Fili seemed so small and fragile with his blue eyes shut to the world and his long blonde curls framing his pale face. 

“Stop it,” Fili said suddenly without opening his eyes, causing Kili to jump and nearly fall off the bed. 

“I’m not doing anything,” Kili denied, glaring at his brother’s seemingly sleeping face.  
One blue eye peeped open and the corner of the young dwarf’s mouth quirked up. “You’re staring at me while I sleep. Its annoying.” 

“But your not asleep!” the dark-eyed dwarf protested. 

Fili swiped at his brother playfully. “Only because some little goblin woke me up.” 

“Then we should go and hunt it down!” Kili exclaimed, bouncing a little. 

The blonde groaned and pulled the furs over his head. “Too early to be up and about Kee. Go to bed.” 

“But I can’t! I’m not tired.”

“Count sh—“

“Didn’t work.”

“Pretend you’re asleep until you’re tired?” 

“Nope.”

“Ugh, Kee I’m tired and I can sleep. Go bother Mother for some warm milk.” Fili tried, coming out from his covering.

“Ick.” Kili shook his head and bounced again. “I want to play with you.” Fili always knew the best games. He let his lower lip stick out a little. “Please, Fee?” 

Fili groaned again but nodded and threw back his covers. “Alright then but just for a little while and then you have to go to bed or Uncle Thorin will be cross.” He waited for Kili to nod and cross his heart in a promise before he grabbed his hand and together they slid off the bed. 

They snuck out of their room quietly, careful not to let the door creak for fear their mother would hear from her room next door and catch them in the act. Swiftly, they trotted down long halls and passages until they got to the council chambers, a large dome shaped room with a long rectangular stone table in the middle that had many maps and miniature stone figures used for strategic planning littered upon it. 

Kili rushed right up to the table and hoisted himself onto a stone bench and grabbed the nearest stone figure. 

He loved this room, it was his favorite in all of Erebor. He and Fili spent hours in here listening to Thorin or taking lessons in Kuzdul from their mother. This was also where they came on occasion to play when the weather was bad outside and couldn’t go wandering along the mountainside. 

“What do you want to play, Kee?” Fili asked, a twinkle in his blue eyes as he sat next to his brother at the table.

Kili dropped the figure back in the vicinity he had gotten it from and turned to his brother with a delighted smile. “I get to pick?” he asked excitedly, eyes shining brightly. 

“Sure.” Fili grinned. He knew what Kili would pick, it was the same every time, and it had been far too long anyway. 

“I want to play with the beast, Fee!” Kili all but clapped with joy. “Will you turn for me?” 

Springing up from his seat, Fili ran to the door and made sure it was locked before he turned around and dashed back to his brother leaping in the air and landing in Kili’s lap covered in fur.  
He had changed seamlessly into a lion cub, complete with flicking tail, sharp teeth and large, unwieldy paws. 

Fili only ever really used his power for Kili, to see his brother’s face light up like the sun and feel his little fingers clutch and pet at his fur. No one else outside of their small family knew of the skin-changer blood that flowed through both boys but was only prominent in Fili. 

Kili laughed gleefully even as he was toppled off the bench by Fili’s extra weight. Fili carefully focused on keeping his claws put away as they hit the floor and rolled. He sprang up and ran around the room with Kili trailing after him squealing happily. He turned and pounced his brother down a couple times, batting him gently with his paws before he bounded off again. 

He allowed Kili to catch him too and they rolled around trying to get the upper hand on one another, Kili scratching his ears and rubbing his belly when he caught up putting him into a blissful state he had to shake himself out of. 

“Catch me, Fee, catch me!” Kili laughed, running under the table and climbing up onto the bench as Fili rushed after him swiping at his feet playfully as the younger dwarf pulled himself onto the tabletop. 

Fili growled and jumped and swiped his paws at the stone table’s smooth edges trying to touch Kili, the dark-haired dwarfling giggling and bouncing around, toppling the little figures and scattering maps to the floor in his fun.  
With a good jump Fili got the whole front of his body onto the table, his back legs swinging and claws scrambling for purchase. Kili cheered him on and danced happily and Fili saw the moment everything went wrong as if in slow motion.

Kili foot landed on a rounded figure that rolled under his weight, a flail of arms and Kili was falling. Fili let go of the table and threw himself across the floor to catch his brother as the big-eyed dwarfling fell, managing to keep his head from smacking the floor. 

Breathing hard, Fili let his form change back into a dwarf, fur sliding back and disappearing as if it had never been. He sat up with Kili in his lap and frantically ran his hands over him. “Are you okay, Kili?” he asked, his heart beating like a frightened bird. 

“Hurts, Fee,” Kili whimpered miserably, tears trickling down his baby soft cheeks.

Fili looked down at where Kili was holding his chest and he suddenly became aware of the sticky, wet feeling on his hand and he cried out when he saw the blood staining the tips of his fingers and Kili’s blue nightshirt.  
“Wha—“ he gasped, pulling Kili’s clothes out of the way, ignoring his grunts of protest, to see the four puncture marks in his baby brother’s chest directly over his heart.  
There was a lot of blood, was Fili’s first thought and then the realization that this was his fault, that Kili was injured was all because of him and his carelessness. He had let his control slip and had forgotten to hold his claws in when Kili had landed on him and now Kili was paying the price for his forgetfulness. 

“I want Mother,” the little dwarfling cried.

“Oh, Kili I’m so sorry!” apologized Fili, laying his brother down on the floor carefully. “You stay here, I’ll go get mother and uncle Thorin.” He tried to remember everything Oin had taught them about wounds, about how to stop the bleeding. He didn’t want Kili to bleed out while he was away. Then he remembered. “Keep your hand pressed here,” he positioned Kili’s chubby little hand. “And don’t let go. I’ll hurry.” 

Quick as he could he ran from the room and down the longs halls screaming for his uncles and mother and anyone who could help.  
Thorin came charging out of his bedchambers, intercepting Fili’s run to his mother’s rooms and scooped him up in his powerful arms. “What wrong, Fili? Are you hurt?” he questioned, his thick brow crinkled with worry. 

Fili shook his head, tears overflowing his blue eyes. “No, its Kili,” he answered, swallowing hard around the lump in his throat. 

Thorin didn’t wait for the blonde dwarfling to explain anymore before he started running down the hall towards the council room where he knew the boys liked to play. He made a mental note to himself that the room would need to be locked at night from now on. Usually the boys knew better than to leave there rooms at night (at least as far as he knew). Dis was going to skin him alive if Kili was hurt bad. 

He didn’t know what he was expecting when he got to the council room; a broken arm, a busted nose maybe but not this, not his littlest nephew half under the table with blood pouring through his fingers from a wound in his chest.  
Carefully he set Fili down and went to Kili. 

“How did this happen?” he asked them as he gently pulled Kili to him and pushed his hands away. When no answer came from either child he looked over at Fili only to find he wasn’t there anymore. “Fili?” he turned his head around to see if the boy had just moved around the room but he was nowhere to be seen. Figuring he had just gone to fetch his mother he turned his full attention to Kili. 

The boy’s chest was punctured in four places, holes black and bloody but they didn’t appear to be very deep. What concerned him most was how they got there. There was nothing in the room he could have fallen on in to make those type of marks. 

Dis came hurrying into the room seconds later and gasped when she saw Thorin removing her youngest son’s bloody and torn nightshirt. She would have been there sooner except by the time she had left her room Fili had stopped calling for her and she had spent her time looking for him.

“What happened?” she demanded, immediately springing forward and examining Kili for injury. 

Kili whimpered and cuddled against her as much as Thorin would allow, his uncle using his nightshirt to clean the blood around the wounds. “I fell,” he admitted quietly. 

“On what?” Thorin asked dubiously. “Dis, there is only one way he got these.” 

She looked closer at the wound and shook her head. “Fili would never…it must have been an accident, brother.” 

Thorin arched a brow but said nothing more. “You’ll live,” he told his nephew gently. The bleeding had slowed considerably. “You’ll need a poultice to keep out infection but I don’t think they’ll scar too badly.” 

“Did Fili hurt you?” Dis asked, brushing Kili’s hair from his eyes and kissing his exposed forehead in reassurance.

Feeling safe, Kili nodded. “But it was an accident. We were playing and I fell and he didn’t mean to. He just forgot to put his claws in when he catched me.” 

“Where is he?” Thorin asked, for the first time realizing that Fili had not reappeared. 

“Fili?” Dis called and began looking around the chamber. 

Kili hissed in pain but he forced himself to sit up in Thorin’s lap and look around for his brother. “Its ok, Fili. I’m not hurt that bad.” He tilted his head and listened for a moment before he nudged his uncle’s arm and pointed at the end of the bench. 

Dis frowned but followed her youngest son’s direction and went to peak under the edge of the bench.  
And there was Fili. Or rather a lion cub they knew to be Fili, curled up and making snuffling noises in his throat and staring at the blood staining the fur on his paw.

“Oh baby,” sighed Dis, reaching down and scooping up the little blonde cub without fear. “Kili’s alright. You did good to come and get us. Change back now, darling, it’s okay.” 

Thorin stood with Kili in his arms and went to his sister and eldest nephew, watching closely as Fili’s form melted back to that of a dwarfling. 

“Sister, I think you should take Kili to bed while I talk with Fili.” Thorin said, more of an order than a suggestion. 

She nodded reluctantly and they switched children. 

Thorin sat Fili down at the table and sat on the side opposite him. “Fili,” he started, making sure his nephew looked him in the eye as he spoke. “I know it was an accident and I know you are sorry. Kili forgives you, so do your mother and I however, you could have seriously hurt him. A few inches up and you could have severed an artery or slashed his throat and killed him.” 

Fili whimpered at the thought and the king placed a large hand on the shaking shoulder to steady him. 

“You know better than to run around at night, you also know better than to change without you mother present. You ignored both of these rules and consequences do have to apply.” Thorin explained firmly but not unkindly. “You will no longer share a room with your brother.”

Fili gasped and shook his head. “Sir, please I’m sorr—“ 

The king held up a hand to still his protests.  
“And I think you need to stop changing. It’s only encouraging that part of you and we should be working on discouraging it so this will never happen again. Do you understand?” Thorin asked, keeping his voice level and firm. 

Fili nodded solemnly. He hated keeping the beast locked away for too long but if never turning again was the price he had to pay to make sure Kili stayed safe then he would do it.  
In one night he had lost his bedroom and the games Kili and the beast played.  
“Yes, sire,” he whispered.

Thorin smiled at his nephew’s agreement and patted the boy softly on the head. Without Fili changing now things would be much more normal around the mountain.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Fili’s things were removed from the boys’ shared room, leaving Kili confused and trying his best to impede them from moving anything he could without getting stepped on. He stole Fili’s furs and hid them under his bed and tried to sit on the toy chest to keep their mother from collecting his brother’s toys. 

Fili sat in his new room on the edge of his bed and stared blankly at the window. Their old room didn’t have a window and it was strange to him to see the natural light hitting the stone floor turning it a cool blue. 

He would definitely miss sharing with Kili, the night would be far too quiet without the sound of his baby brother’s snores and restless turning about. But at least now he wouldn’t be tempted to give in to Kili’s requests to play after dark, and he definitely wouldn’t be playing with the beast any longer.

Dropping his head with a soft moan he caught the sight of his hand in the periphery of his vision, only it was no longer a hand. He stared at his nails, no longer dwarf nails but instead the long, dark claws of the beast, and his heart pounded in panic. 

Why was it changing? He concentrated and got the deformed paw to return to normal, only it was much harder and felt less natural than it usually did.   
That was strange, he thought.

“But why does Fili have to get a new room? Ours is big enough.” Kili whined as he followed his mother into Fili’s new room, his fists tugging insistently on her skirts.

Dis rolled her eyes and prayed to Mahal for patience. “Because this way you will not be getting up in the night to run about the mountain like thieves and hurt each other.” 

“It was an accident,” Kili qualified, jutting his bottom lip out. “Besides it don’t hurt much and I forgive him.” 

“That’s good, baby but that’s not the issue,” she assured him. “And I think Fili is ready to have his own space.” 

Fili shrugged. He had never thought about it. Sure Kili was annoying sometimes and drove him crazy when they had nothing better to do than lay about in their room but that was just a fact, like saying the sky is blue and Dwalin is a grump. He hadn’t questioned it.   
But he supposed it was a good idea to have his own space. He could put his things wherever he wanted and could keep it as neat as he wanted. It could be nice once he got used to it. 

His hand started to itch and he knew without even looking that he had grown a patch of fur on the back of his hand. He shifted subtly to keep it from his mother’s eyes as she bustled about the room with his things. 

“Mother, may I change?” 

She stopped putting extra blankets and furs in the cupboard and looked over her shoulder at him with her brow furrowed in concern. “You just changed last night. Are you okay?” 

“I just need to change. Please?” Fili pleaded, his could feel the tickle at the nape of his neck and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold it back for much longer. 

“Okay, hang on. Kili, leave,” she ordered, pointing at the door. 

Kili’s mouth fell open. “What? No! I don’t wanna go!” 

Fili gasped as the burning in his guts started and he couldn’t wait, he knew his face was already changing without his command. For whatever reason the beast was determined to be let out and he wasn’t strong enough to hold it back. 

Kili ignored his mother’s orders to leave and went to his brother when he saw the shifting start. He brushed his tiny fingers over Fili’s whiskers and giggled at the tickle. 

Fili smiled and relaxed at the light touch and nearness of his baby brother and he let the form of the beast take him. The light got brighter in his furry form and he had to blink and focus his eyes as he looked at his little brother, who smiled and petted his ear. A purr rumbled through his chest and he butted his head into Kili’s chest, asking for more petting, all of his tension melting away.

Kili gasped and jerked back, pain shooting through his chest from the wounds Fili had given him last night. The poultice Oin had put on it had numbed it a little but the sudden pressure brought all the pain back. 

Dis came and pulled him away quickly. “This is why I told you to go. You’re still hurt and you can’t play like he’s used to.”

Fili flinched and jumped down from the bed to slink under it and hide. He was bad. Why was he always so clumsy lately? Why did it have to be Kili he hurt? He should be locked away where he could never hurt anyone again. 

After Dis had finally gotten Kili to leave the room (more like shoved him into a passing Balin’s arms) she crouched down on the floor and looked at her eldest child with raised brows.

“Are you going to hide yourself away every time you have an accident?”

The little cub dropped his head and covered his nose with his paw. 

“He is going to be okay, Fili,” she assured him. “He will heal quickly and be good as new, just right now you have to be gentle.” She reached her hand toward him and barely touched her fingertips to the golden fur on his hind leg when he grunted and scooted further away.

She rolled her eyes. “You know your father went through the same thing when we first met. He transformed into this huge beast to save me from your uncle Frerin and in my hurry to stop him he cut my arm,” she chuckled at the memory. “I don’t think he ever forgave himself. But he learned accidents happen, more so around us Durins, and Kili is the most willful of our kind yet. No one blames you, my love.” 

Fili grumbled but slowly slid towards his mother, her gentle voice soothing to his furry little ears. 

“So it’s true then.” 

They both looked up to see Thorin standing in the doorway. He cast his disappointed gaze over them. 

“Kili said that he had changed. Fili, I thought we talked about this?” He came into the room and dropped to one knee so he could see his nephew more clearly. “You were to stop changing.” 

Dis frowned. “Brother, be reasonable! He can’t just not change.” 

Thorin sighed as if gathering patience and met Dis’ eyes. “How else is he to learn to keep that animal from getting loose? He will stop turning into that thing before someone else gets hurt.” 

“But Thorin, surely—“ 

“I am not discussing this, sister,” the king cut her off firmly. “I will not have it running rampant through my mountain. He will lock it away or I will lock him away.” 

“He’s just a child!” Dis yelled, outraged but most of all surprised at the harshness of her brother’s words. 

“All the more reason he should start controlling it now!” Thorin snapped, rising to his feet and pointing a thick finger at his nephew cowering in his animal form under the bed. “I don’t want to see this creature ever again, do you understand?” 

The cub nodded and bowed his head, the little dwarfling within sobbing and struggling so hard to regain his dwarf form. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, the fur seemed to melt away from his hands and face and his bones reshaped and snapped and it all happened in a jagged, halting motion without any of its normal fluidity. The transformation was painful in a way it had never been before and it left him shaking and sweating upon the cold stone floor, hot tears tracking down his cheeks.

Thorin gave a satisfactory nod and left the room with a last stern look at his sister.

Fili crawled into his mother’s lap and cried while his form shifted out of his control.

*~*~*

Kili healed quickly as most young dwarves do and returned to running about the mountain as normal. Fili however remained irreparably changed by the accident.   
He struggled with concentration during his lessons, found his appetite was hard to satisfy and it was growing harder and harder to keep the beast locked away. His nails would grow long and sharp and fur would suddenly be where it shouldn’t at random times of the day. 

It terrified him whenever Thorin was around, scared of letting it slip and earning his uncle’s disapproval yet again. Not to mention that he tried his hardest not to play with Kili. His beast seemed to get harder to keep inside whenever he was around his little brother too long so he had limited their time together where he could, which was easier to do now they had separate rooms.

Kili didn’t seem to notice at first, or if he did he was just letting Fili have his space but soon the dark-haired dwarfling started to demand his big brother’s attention. He followed Fili about and tried everything he could to coax his brother to play with him as they usually did.   
Fili struggled to remain firm and not give in to Kili's pleading, remembering the disappointed look on Uncle Thorin's face the last time he had changed.

Dis noticed Fili’s new and odd behavior, and so did Thorin. 

The King under the mountain sent out for the wizard Gandalf to come to Erebor, hoping the wizard knew of some spell that would free his nephew from his burden. 

“He is under no enchantment or curse of any kind, Thorin. There is nothing I can do for the boy, I’m afraid,” the wizened old man told the dwarf king with a shake of his head. “He is what he is. He will have to learn to control it of course, before he hurts others. Very volatile, shifters are but they can learn to keep their instincts at bay with time and practice.” 

Thorin grumbled his discontent at the ill answer but in all honestly he hadn’t expected the wizard to say much different. 

“Can we give him anything to keep him from turning?” Dis inquired softly, chewing at her lower lip in worry. Her husband had been a shifter of course but he had learned to control his other form by the time they had met and he had spoken very little of his upbringing. 

Gandalf looked at her from under his bushy brows thoughtfully. “Nothing that I have the power to give him.” 

The door to the council room suddenly crashed open and in came Dwalin, Thorin’s cousin and one of his most trusted friends, with a little Kili clinging to his chest and whimpering. 

“What happened?” Thorin growled, rising to his feet and striding over to his littlest nephew. Kili’s forearm was a mess of bloody scratches that ran from his elbow to the back of his hand.

“I found him playing with Fili and I must’ve startled ‘em ‘cause suddenly the boy just took off and his hind claws got Kili here good.” Dwalin explained gruffly, patting Kili’s head softly as the boy sniffled. 

Thorin glowered dangerously. Fili had shifted again!

“He didn’t mean to, uncle,” Kili cried, tears for his brother rather than the pain. 

Gandalf had stood and towered above them, awkwardly hovering until Kili noticed him with a startled gasp. The wizard smiled. “If I may?” he asked, gesturing to the dwarfling’s arm, at Dis’ nod he waved the end of his staff over the scratches and whispered soft words until the wounds were closed, leaving a row of thin pink scars. 

“There we are. Good as new,” he laughed, earning a surprised laugh from Kili as he twisted the appendage around to see.

“Wow!” the boy exclaimed, having never seen a wizard’s magic before. “Look, mother look! Now Fili doesn’t need to be sad anymore.” 

The adults frowned and side-eyed each other but even Dis, who loved her sons more than life had to share a look of sad knowledge with her brother. Fili was too dangerous around Kili and if Gandalf could do nothing then there could be nothing else left for them to do but keep him where he couldn’t accidentally harm anyone again. 

Dwalin sat Kili down and let the boy run off to play before they all sat down with the wizard to discuss the new plan of action that seemed to have taken root in all of their minds. 

“I sense you have a heavy favor to ask of me, Thorin. Spit it out and let me be on my way to a welcoming bed.” Gandalf said with a tired sigh. 

“Can you make Kili forget his brother?” Dis spoke up for her brother, her heart heavy in her stomach.

The wizard frowned. “That is a lot of memory to take from a child.” 

“But can you?” Thorin asked insistently. 

“Yes,” the old man answered. “However I would not recommend it. Instead, if I may suggest, let him only forget what his brother is. Less damaging.” 

The dwarves thought on this and eventually agreed. They would allow for every memory Kili had of his brother and father as skin-changers to be taken from him. And Fili would be locked away for the sake of keeping a rare illness contained. 

In the end it would be better for all of them, Thorin was sure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update....still not sure about this one.

_He laughed loudly, a chiming sound that echoed around him strangely, and ran faster and faster, something not far behind chasing him and swiping at his heels. Close, so close! He jumped up onto higher ground and danced and twirled while the thing tried to get to him, somehow it had gotten hung on something._

_He looked back to see what was taking it so long and found a pair of piercing blue eyes staring back. Then suddenly he was fallingfallingfalling and landing hard but on something soft and warm._

_And then the pain set in, burning streaks of fire into his chest and he cried out in pain…._

 

Gasping wildly, Kili jerked upright in his bed, his safe unmoving bed, his eyes darting around looking for something before he finally noticed his hand clutching at the front of his nightshirt, nails digging into his skin painfully. And then he remembered the sharp, stabbing pain from before he awoke. Pain his own blunt nails couldn’t have caused. 

Curiously he pulled the shirt away from his sweaty skin and looked down at his chest, at the four pinkish-white scars hiding beneath the curly tufts of chest hair.  
He couldn’t remember how they got there it had happened so long ago. His mother had told him he had fallen on some rocks when he was playing as a child but he had always suspected that wasn’t the whole truth. 

Now, as old as they were, the scars were aching oddly. He rubbed at them irritably and slid out of bed, the glow of dying embers from the fireplace the only light guiding him as he moved about the room. 

He collected his trousers and pulled them on jerkily. 

Sleep would not be coming after that dream. 

It wasn’t the first time he had dreamt about those eyes. Wide and blue framed with a thin line of black fur. Animal eyes like he had never seen outside his dreams.  
He had looked it up, asked Master Balin, who was one of the wisest dwarves he knew, and he had never found anything even close to what he dreamt of. Of course all he really had to base his inquiries on were eyes and a few vague colors. 

His friend, Ori had collected together everything he could find on animals with blue eyes and Kili had spent hours reading about rabbits and dogs, and a strange bear-like creature from the North but nothing matched his dream.

Not knowing what or whom those eyes belonged to bothered him far more than it should. 

Huffing, he got his clothes and shoes on in the dark room without too much trouble and quietly he slipped from his room and into the long hallway. 

The sound of each step echoed off the walls softly and disappeared into nothing as he hurried along to the room of his brother. 

Ever since he was little his older brother, Fili had been sick and as it was a contagious disease he hadn’t been able to see him save for the brief glimpses he got through a crack in the door. All he could remember of him was his golden hair and a tinkle of laughter when they played together. 

He longed to heal his brother so they could be together again. 

Fili’s door was an enormous oak monstrosity, almost as grand as the king’s own, thick and elaborate with carvings it stretched up high and wide and Kili knew it would take effort to open it even if it hadn’t been locked on both sides with large iron bolts.

His own door was very plain by comparison. He felt a brief spike of jealousy but forced it away. 

Carefully, he leaned close and peered through the crack he had found years ago. Thankfully Fili’s room had a window that allowed in the moonlight so he could actually see some things inside. 

For a moment he thought his eyes hadn’t yet adjusted to the near darkness for he could see nothing and then something shifted and he was able to make out the moonlight glowing on the sill of the window and hitting the foot of the bed. Then the shadow fell across his vision again and he pulled back to glare at the door before he leaned in again to press his ear to it.

Soft rustling was all that came to him through the thickness of the door. 

He licked his lips nervously and glanced over his shoulder. All he needed was to get caught and taken to his uncle for sneaking around the mountain in the dead of night. 

“Fili?” he hissed cautiously into the crack in the wood. “Fili, are you awake?” He pressed his ear back to the door and the soft rustling changed to sudden loud thumping and a sound like someone running about. 

A curious frown wrinkled his brow and he peeked through the hole again and something flashed across the room before he recognized the shape of a dwarf’s naked shoulder and glinting golden hair. His brother was awake and crouching near the bed, motionless. 

“Fili, I know you’re awake, I can see you,” he whispered. He snickered when the part of his brother he could see disappeared quickly. “Come on, Fili. I had a bad dream and I-I really want to talk to you. Please?” 

He leaned his forehead against the cool wood and waited, ears pricked for any sound. He didn’t know why he still dared to hope. Fili had rarely talked to him since they were little.

There was nothing but silence for a long while and Kili was almost ready to give up when there was a soft thump on the other side of the door and the voice of his brother reached out to him.

“What did you dream about?” 

Kili felt his eyes prick with tears and quickly, almost angrily, swiped them away. Oh god, Fili. It felt like a lifetime since he had heard that voice. “I dreamt of light and happiness and then I fell, and I kept falling.” 

“Doesn’t sound so scary,” came the soft reply. 

“It wasn’t, it was the pain that scared me.” Kili whispered back. 

“What pain?” Fili’s voice had gone hard and was far louder than a whisper. 

“In my chest, where my scars are. And there was something chasing me in my dream and it’s eyes… it was staring at me when I fell, watching me fall and I—“ 

“Go back to bed, Kili.” Fili cut him off, voice cold through the door. 

“But, Fili, I’ve had this dream before and I can’t figure out what it means and Master Balin doesn’t know either. I could really use your help. Maybe it’s a memory or something and if you were there you cou—“ 

“NO!” 

Kili stared at the door in confusion. 

“Kili,” Fili started, his voice much softer after his shout. “You were just dreaming. It’s not a memory and I can’t help you. Please go.” 

The dark-haired dwarf shook his head even though he knew his brother couldn’t see it.  
“I’m not leaving,” he whispered stubbornly. “We can talk about something else. Fili?” 

No sound came from the room and Kili looked in through the crack but there was nothing there but the end of a bed and the window. Fili must have hidden in the shadows again.  
His shoulders drooped from the crushing loneliness that weighed on him at the loss of his brother and slowly he sank to the floor to rest the back of his head against the door. 

“One day, Fee, I will open these doors and we’ll be together again.” he whispered, more as a promise to himself than to his brother.

~

On the other side of the door Fili had his back pressed to the wood, his heart breaking with every sound he heard from the other side, knowing his brother was hurting. The beast within him roared and clawed at him from the inside. It wanted to get to Kili so desperately. 

But Fili was determined to make sure his brother stayed safe and never had to be hurt because of him again. He folded his arms and let the beast sink its claws into his flesh. 

~

Thorin watched from the shadows as his youngest nephew whispered through the seam of Fili’s door. Even in the dark he could see Kili’s suffering and it tore at his gut knowing Fili was feeling the same. 

He had just been returning from his cousin, Dwalin’s chambers when he had heard Kili’s footsteps and had hid himself in the shadows to see just what his sister-son was up too. 

The boys had been separated for nearly 20 years already, Kili unable to remember all of his childhood with his brother but they were still drawn to each other. There were days when Fili would destroy his room and leave gouging marks in the door in his attempt to be free. And Kili didn’t fair much better, locking himself away sometimes to mope for days. 

On the inside Thorin ached in his bones, hating himself with every fiber of his being for what he’d had to do but in front of them and in front of his dear sister he had to remain stoic, firm in his words.

Fili would grow larger soon, his changing more frequent. Thorin had seen the damage his brother in-law, Vili had reeked upon orc packs, and he remembered just how hard Vili had struggled to keep himself in control each time he had changed.  
Dis still had many a scar from when he hadn’t managed it. 

Thorin had only wished to save them from the inevitable hurt that the beast would cause. 

He waited and watched as Kili slumped against the door and finally walked away. Stepping from his hiding place behind a statue of his forefather, Thorin could hear Fili growling from inside his room. 

His decision reaffirmed at the all too familiar sound, he made a mental note to remind Kili that nighttime was not the time for a dwarf lad to be roaming through the mountain then he turned and headed to his own chambers.


	4. Chapter 4

More and more years passed with no hope of a cure for Fili. No amount of healers, traders from the East or even the few Elves that were asked to help could make those damned doors open.  
Kili was beginning to think he would never see his brother again. 

While Fili was locked away Kili grew up into a fine dwarf, strong and brave with a good heart. He learned to hunt and fight and drink and work the forge. But it all felt hollow and empty when all he could think of were the times he and Fili had shared in the classroom with Balin and Dori learning their Kuzdul together and how his brother should be with him now too. 

He wished for someone to share in his life with every fiber of his being but love seemed to elude him, his brother was lost to him and his family barely had time for him. He was not unhappy but there was no denying that there was a Fili-shaped hole missing from his life. But as the years spent without his brother wore on he began to resign himself to his lonely fate with bitterness.

```  
Fili was not idle in his solitude. He was brought books and maps by Ori, Lord Balin’s scribe, via a secret entrance to his room that very few knew of. Thorin made sure Fili received the proper training of a prince even though they both knew that the king would never give his crown to a shapeshifter. 

Some days his mother would come in and share news of Kili and his antics and Fili would smile and laugh to keep her from hearing the growling of the beast inside him at every mention of his brother. 

The year Fili turned 74 Thorin came to his nephew’s chambers with ill news. 

It was growing dark, sun setting orange upon the Long Lake when the King Under the Mountain knocked on the secret door once before stepping into his sister-son’s chambers. 

Fili grunted a greeting from where he was slumped against the windowsill, one huge paw resting upon the edge, sharp claws tapping at the stone lazily. The beast was bored and wanted nothing more than to climb out of the window and run, run, run to that lake and keep running until it was far away from this damned room. 

“Fili, I have some news.” Thorin stated, keeping close enough to the door so he could get out if the beast decided to turn on him. He carried his sword but it was always the very last resort. He wasn’t afraid of his sister-son, merely cautious. 

Fili grunted again, sliding down from his perch and stalking across the room to sit at the end of his bed, blue eyes fixed on the dwarf that kept him locked away. He could see Thorin through both his own perspective and the beast’s when he was turned, years of being trapped with the animal teaching him control. 

He knew his uncle was distrustful of him in this form but to be perfectly frank Fili no longer cared. If Thorin was going to keep him locked away anyway there was no reason he shouldn’t turn in the king’s presence. 

Thorin stared at him, waiting for something. Realizing he wasn’t going to get it, the king huffed and rolled his eyes. “Balin leads a host to reclaim Moria, I go with him to help rid the land of orc scum.” He paused a moment before adding, “Your mother travels also.” 

Fili growled and shifted with a hiss. “You let her go?” he rasped as the last of his bones cracked back into place, uncaring of his nudity. 

“It’s not a matter of letting. Moria belongs to the dwarves and she would see it in our hands once again before she leaves this earth.” It was more of a revenge mission to find the orc that had killed his brother in-law.

Dis had kept going for two reasons after her husband had perished in battle and now those reasons were grown she had confided in Thorin that the last thing she was holding on for was revenge. To see the goblin filth eviscerated at her feet.  
Who was Thorin to say no to his little sister? 

“Why are you telling me this? Am I to go with you?” Am I to serve as part of the arsenal, he meant to say. Dwalin had remarked many times that he would like to let the animal loose in the middle of a battlefield just to see the destruction it would cause. 

Thorin shook his head. “No, you are to stay here. But while we are away an envoy of elves from the woodland realm are to arrive with a ‘cure’ for your ailment,” the king said with a sneer, his distaste for elves visible with every word. “You will allow them to see you, they will pronounce you healthy and ready to rule should I fall.” 

Fili blinked in surprise. “What of Kili? Surely you would prefer him on the throne to me?” 

“Yes, I would. However Kili is not ready, nor will he be for some time. The boy is too wild and far too reckless to rule a kingdom.” Thorin’s eyes softened slightly and he placed a heavy hand on his eldest nephew’s strong shoulder. “You are still my heir, Fili and I love you to the depths of my heart, it’s that thing you turn into that I don’t want on my throne.”

“I can control it now, uncle. I have been for years!” 

“And that’s what I’m counting on while we’re gone.” Thorin smiled. “You will only have to keep the kingdom from falling into ruin for a couple of months, a year at the most. Do you think you can keep it from getting out?” 

He was to be allowed out of his room! 

The creature reared its great head and roared within Fili, making his bones ache and his chest rattle. He felt it start to push for him to change eagerly but he tamped it down. 

“Yes,” he answered without hesitation. “And if it gets to be more than I can handle I can always make it to my room to lock it up before I hurt—it—before it hurts anyone,” he amended quickly, keeping himself and the beast separate for his uncle’s benefit. 

Thorin studied him pensively for a moment before he seemed to decide that Fili’s word would have to be enough. “Very well then. We leave within the week. Dwalin will serve as steward until the elves arrive to make you well. I have a deal with Thranduil to do this. He will expect payment that I have promised him, you will see that his kin receive it,” the older dwarf instructed firmly. “Ori will bring it up so that it may be passed on unseen by prying eyes. Do you understand everything that is expected of you?”

“Yes, sir,” the blonde answered readily. He had been groomed in private by his mother and Master Balin and Master Dori to take care of the Mountain in Thorin’s stead. He had never thought he would actually get the chance but he was ready. 

“Good. Now I am off to see to the preparations,” the king announced with a sigh. “I will see you upon our return.” 

Fili watched his uncle leave through the secret door, his heart pounding in elation at the thought of being able to walk free through the halls of Erebor. 

“Oh and Fili, don’t let Kili near the elves,” Thorin added, popping his head back into the room suddenly. “You know how he is around strangers.” 

Actually I don’t, Fili realized after Thorin had gone again with a heavy click of the lock. He hadn’t seen his brother in nearly 60 years, had only spoken to him briefly through the door once or twice. All he had to go on about Kili was what their mother had told him, and that had mostly been ramblings about how frustrating and stubborn he was.

The beast rolled around and tugged at the back of his mind to drag him away from stressful thoughts and Fili just let go and slipped into his much larger form with ease.

Feeling warm and happy at the thought of seeing his brother again, of being free again he twisted onto his back and rolled around on the stone floor with a loud purr vibrating his throat. 

*~*~* 

The better part of a month passed with Dwalin in charge of Erebor, the surly dwarf growing more and more irate with every council meeting he needed to attend and everything that could go wrong did go wrong. 

The miners went on strike, tired of meager earnings when they were pulling up the finest gems and gold in Middle Earth. The cook got stuck in the doorway to the kitchens and blocked the entire entryway so no food could be made for the King’s Halls and had to be resolved by slicking the poor cook up in bear grease until he could be pushed through. 

And then there was Kili who was no help at all to a frustrated Dwalin and kept sneaking out of council and heading off to Dale to drink with the men and hang about with harlots and thieves. 

Dwalin was ready to rip the last of his hair out when the Elves finally arrived after being delayed by some unknown reason. He just barely managed to have Kili rounded up and wrangled into decent attire and into the throne room to greet their guests. 

The company from Mirkwood was made up of 6 elves, all of them tall and lithe with auburn and light brown hair save for one silver-haired elf that inclined his head and introduced himself as Legolas, son of King Thranduil. 

Kili stood at Dwalin’s side as they were brought into the throne room, his arms crossed and brow lowered slightly to hide his fascination. He had heard a lot about elves, mainly from his uncle’s grumblings and curses, but this was the first time he had actually seen them. The elf prince was beautiful…for a male, and Kili couldn’t keep from staring curiously.

Which was probably why he missed Dwalin asking the elf about a cure. 

“What?” he asked, brow crinkled in confusion as he looked from the elves to his cousin. “There is a cure? You can cure my brother?” He stepped down and stared up at the elf prince anxiously, his heart pounding wildly with renewed hope. 

Legolas shifted under the intensity of Kili’s gaze but nodded. “My father believes that he has found something that will cure what ails your brother. Unfortunately he could not be here himself so I am here in his stead.”

“What is it? A spell? A potion?” Kili inquired cautiously. 

“It is a serum, derived from the waters of our river and the mushrooms grown in the palace. There are other ingredients that I will not tell you as they are less savory,” the elf prince said with the barest hint of a smile. He pulled out a glass vial from a satchel another elf carried and showed the pearlescent liquid to the dwarves. 

Dwalin frowned deeply. He had only thought the elves came as a way to keep their people believing that an illness was truly what Fili was suffering from. Thorin had never mentioned them actually giving something to Fili.  
He wondered suspiciously if the tree huggers planned to poison the prince and everything was all a ruse to take over Erebor and steal their gold. 

Swallowing down a growl, Dwalin forced a smile on his face. “Well, then if you do not require a rest let us go to the heir’s chamber.” 

The elves murmured in agreement and followed the grumpy dwarf deeper into the mountain. Kili followed along with his heart fluttering hopefully. He didn’t like the thought of the elf going into his brother’s rooms but he wanted Fili to be healed and not shut away all his life. 

Fili’s bedchamber was higher up in the mountain, a full level higher than even the King’s chambers, to be as far away from the city as possible but still within the part of the mountain reserved for royalty. Thorin hadn’t wanted to risk anyone else catching the disease. 

When they got there, Dwalin pulled Legolas aside and out of Kili’s earshot. “What’s all this ‘serum’ nonsense? Thorin made no mention of anything actually being given to the boy.” 

“The serum only contains water and mushroom powder. There is nothing harmful about it. My father thought it would be best to keep up appearances rather than I turn up with a miracle cure and no explanation.” The woodland prince answered coolly. 

“If he falls ill, I’m blamin’ you.” Dwalin grumped and unceremoniously unlatched the heavy, ornately carved lock from Fili’s door. “Fili, the elves are comin’ in to see to you,” he warned the young prince, just in case he had let the beast out.

“I am ready.” Fili called back. 

Kili cracked his knuckles nervously and watched in anticipation as Dwalin shoved the door open and let the elves through. He tried to peek around them into the room to see his brother but all he managed to see was the furniture and a pair of bare dwarf feet.

The elves closed the door behind them, blocking the dwarves from seeing what was happening inside of the room. Two elves chose to stay out in the hall rather than follow their prince. 

Dwalin sniffed and crossed his arms irritably, casting distrustful glances at the elves, and Kili took to pacing the corridor. 

“How long is it to take?” he asked Dwalin impatiently. 

The larger dwarf shrugged. “As long as it takes,” he huffed. “They’ll probably take their pretty time I imagine.” Of course they would. Elves cared not for time, nor for the fact that dwarves didn’t have nearly as much of it as they did. 

Dwalin wanted desperately for them to hurry it up so he could join his king and brother on the battlefield Moria had become. 

“Your brother is in good hands, dwarf.” One of the elves said in an almost soothing tone.

Kili paused and glared at her. She was the first elf to speak to him. “Does he heal dwarves often then?”

The redhaired female smiled fondly. “None. But I have seen him help many wounded. Legolas has the gentle touch of a healer. He would be great at it if only his king would allow him to pursue it.” She stepped closer to Kili, the other elf protesting quietly when she held out her hand. “I am Tauriel.” 

Kili could feel Dwalin stiffen behind him and he stared at Tauriel’s hand like he wasn’t sure what it was for a moment before he cautiously took her surprisingly strong hand in his own. “Kili,” he said, awkwardly giving her hand a shake. 

She just smiled serenely. “I know.” 

Kili grinned, his attitude shifting from worried and irritable to curious and friendly. “Of course. Elves know everything.” 

Dwalin snorted loudly. 

Tauriel laughed. “Not everything. But I would have been deaf not to hear the tales of the dwarf prince that runs among the race of Men and drinks until he thinks he can walk across the Lake.” She said with a twinkle in her green eyes. 

That sparked off a back and forth of questions and answers and the two talked animatedly as they waited for news from the other side of the door.  
Kili liked Tauriel. She wasn’t anything like the tricky, devious elves Thorin spoke of. For the first time since his brother had gotten ill he felt like he could be whole again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I had a bit of trouble and I think I got it figured out now but we'll see. Thank you all for being so patient!


	5. Chapter 5

Meanwhile in the prince’s chambers, Fili sat on the end of his bed, having already bowed politely to the prince of Mirkwood during introduction.   
He had never had the opportunity to be around elves before and was surprised by the calming aura surrounding them. The prince Legolas appeared to glow with a silvery light that his animal side seemed to like…a lot. 

Legolas wasted no time and handed over a vial of pearly, white liquid. “My father says that it should keep your animal’s more baser urges at bay for a while.” The elf explained when Fili just stared at it without taking it. 

“And how does you father know that? What is this stuff?” Fili wondered, curiously sniffing at the bottle.

“My father knows a great many things. He is a wise elf and knows about many different beasts. Even those that are within. This will help you.” Legolas answered reverently, his voice soft and husky at the same time and an involuntary purr rippled up out of Fili’s throat. 

Fili’s ears burnt red while he coughed to unsuccessfully mask the sound and snatched the bottle from the elf’s hand. The other elves in the room let out a soft laughter like tinkling bells.

Legolas’ eyes twinkled merrily. “Well, drink up. You have a brother waiting to see you, little lion.”

“Hopefully that’s not a part of me he’ll get to see,” muttered Fili, pulling the stopper out of the vial and eyed the contents warily. “Cheers.” He gulped down all of the tasteless liquid in one go and then gasped at the sudden burning trail of fire it left in his throat, lighting up his insides and filling his stomach with what felt like molten lava. 

He gagged and choked, trying to get the sensation out of his throat and starting to suspect the elves of poisoning. Breathing was almost impossible, the burn in his stomach causing his muscles to cramp painfully and he slid off the bed with a groan.

Thankfully the effects lasted only a few moments and when Fili could think again he realized Legolas was petting his hair and there was another elf standing in front of him with a goblet of water waiting. 

He coughed and glared at the elf prince. “You could’ve warned me,” he croaked. 

“I could have.” Legolas tipped his head agreeably, a sparkle of mischief lighting his eyes. “Now try to change,” he demanded suddenly, coaxing Fili to his feet. 

“What did that potion do exactly?” Fili asked suspiciously. He didn’t feel much different than normal aside from the slight rawness of his throat. 

“As I said, it curbs the more baser desires of the animal.” Legolas reiterated. “You’ll still be able to turn but you won’t have the usual struggle for control. The lion is tamed…to an extent.”

Fili relaxed and allowed his form to shift, feeling awkward with all of the strange elf eyes upon him.

One thing he realized as soon as he stood on four paws was that the embarrassed feeling didn’t fade. He still felt like him, like Fili when normally in this form he felt like he was being pushed to the side by the beast. But right now the animal was perfectly content to just merge with Fili and allow the dwarf full control. 

He shifted back and stood in front of the elves with a smile on his face. He could completely control the beast. He would only have to shift if he wanted to. 

“That’s amazing!” he gasped. “Why didn’t King Thranduil help me before?” 

“Thorin is not my father’s favorite person and to be completely honest uh…” the blonde elf shifted uncomfortably. “He doesn’t know I took it,” he admitted with a small blush. 

Fili laughed and held out his hand. “Then I thank you from the depths of my heart.” 

Legolas smiled back and shook the dwarf’s hand. He found most dwarves repulsive but this one seemed all right and pleasant enough. “Shall we go see to your family and tell them the cure was a success?” 

Kili! Oh gods he was to see Kili again after so many years! It hit him full force and made him feel a little shaky and weak in the knees. 

His brother was waiting to see him and now with the effects of Legolas’ stolen serum he could be around his brother and not worry about hurting him. He had complete control of his inner monster and he was confident there would be no slipups but a small niggling doubt in the back of his mind remained. 

Squaring his shoulders and shook his head in the affirmative. “Yes, let us.” 

An elf pulled open the thick wooden door easily and for the first time since being shut away in the room Fili was able to look out into the hall fully. His eyes drank in every inch of stone in the corridor until they landed on a pair of well-worn boots. His gaze traveled up across long legs (for a dwarf) and up to the tapered waist and broad shoulders and finally to the face framed by dark hair and a wisp of a beard. 

Fili heart squeezed and he had to catch himself on the doorframe before he fell. He had grown so tall, so strong, with just a bit of scruff on his chin, and yet he was still that perfect little boy that used to wake him up for games and adventures in the dark of night. 

“Kili?”

Kili blinked and stared, Tauriel forgotten. The dwarf standing in the doorway wasn’t quite what he had pictured Fili to have grown up like. This dwarf was shorter than he had imagined, shorter than himself, which was strange when he could remember Fili seeming to be a giant when they were children.   
The blonde curls were right but the way they were braided was different and the beard wasn’t as long as he thought it would be. But the eyes were just as blue and perfect as they had always been.

He moved forward slowly, careful not to appear too eager lest he scare him back into the room to be locked away again for another fifty years. 

“You’ve gotten uglier.” Fili said with a lopsided smile as he approached his brother and tilted his head back slightly to look up at the dark-eyed dwarf.

Kili barked out a laugh, not quite expecting it. “I was just thinking the same of you.” He beamed brightly, blinking hard to get rid of the tears that threatened to overwhelm him and clapped a hand on the older dwarf’s shoulder. “By Mahal’s beard it’s good to see you again, Fili.” 

Dwalin coughed from his place just behind Fili and the young princes turned to look at him with identical raised brows. “He is cured then?” he asked Legolas when the elf appeared from the room. 

Legolas inclined his head. “Fili should no longer be affected by his ailment.” 

Kili let go of Fili and went to the elf prince. “Thank you, for everything!” He grabbed Legolas’ hand and shook it rapidly before yanking him down into a hug. He let go of the disgruntled elf and turned to Fili and Dwalin. “They should stay and celebrate with us!”

Fili nodded in agreement. “We would love to have you stay for a while. We’ll throw a grand feast, as a thank you for all you have done for me.” 

He had already given the elves the payment from Thorin but he was so happy to be out of that room and around his brother without endangering him that he would have given them all the gold in the mountain if he had thought they might want it.  
A feast was the very least he could do for the elf that had stolen from his own father to help him.

The Mirkwood elves seemed hesitant to accept the invitation, the inside of a mountain not their preferred habitat. 

“We would be delighted to.” Tauriel spoke up, coming forward from where Kili had all but forgotten her at the other end of the hall. 

Legolas, who had been busy straightening his clothes and hair after Kili’s assault on his personal space, looked up quickly. Thranduil would not be happy with any delays but taking one look at the earnest expression Fili was giving him and he knew he wouldn’t contradict Tauriel. 

“I will have word sent to Dain to let him know of your recovery and to invite him to the feast I suppose,” Dwalin announced, stifling his laughter at the sight of the prissy elf’s hair all out of place. 

“Of course,” the golden-haired dwarf agreed. “Perhaps he would like to accompany you to Moria when you leave?” he suggested. He had never met his cousin Dain but he knew from stories that the lord of the Iron Hills was a renowned warrior that never missed the opportunity to coat his axe in the blood of orcs. 

Dwalin laughed, knowing Dain well. “No doubt he will. And bring his pack of blasted hogs with him.” 

Kili agreed loudly and launched into a lively tale of how one of the animals had tried to chew his leg off, making some of the elves chuckle at his animated gestures. 

Fili smiled happily, taking it all in for a moment. He still felt nervous being around so many people at once when he was used to sitting in silence by himself for days without company, and everything had a dreamlike quality but he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so awake. 

His beast was content and purred so loudly that he could feel his chest shake and he began to relax. Kili had been near him for at least ten minutes now and nothing bad had happened, accident or otherwise. 

Maybe this would work out better than he had dared to hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, sorry again. I warned you that I suck.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I don't even know where this is going.

Not having the ability to walk through the mountain for 60 years, Fili now took the opportunity to explore everything he could, making notes and corrections to the mental map he had of Erebor in his memories. 

He made his way through the royal quarters from top to bottom, skipping over his own rooms and avoiding the council chambers at all costs. He couldn’t even look at the door without seeing warm, red blood seeping through a torn blue shirt and staining tiny hands, memories of the day his life had took its turn for the worse.

Dwalin thought it was best not to explore the rest of the mountain until they had announced him at the feast. The people would be suspicious of him and the sudden recovery after years of nothing. Some dwarves didn’t even know anything of Thorin’s eldest nephew beyond whispers.

But Fili was far too excited to just keep himself secluded in one area, large as it may be. He was sick of having borders placed around his freedom. So the day before Dain was to arrive, the prince sought out his brother, intent on asking him to show him around the lower mountain. He couldn’t wait to see how the mines had changed since he was a child. Maybe he would even be able to enter a real pub and have his first ale. 

Nearly trembling with excitement, he slipped down an angled staircase he knew led to the quarters where the elves were staying, knowing Kili would be there asking his seemingly endless questions and generally just annoying Legolas.

He made sure to check around the corners for Dwalin or any guards that might alert the older dwarf to his potential mischief before he poked his head around the opened door and looked in on the elves. 

Sure enough, Kili was in there, telling a tale of great adventure if his arm gestures were anything to go by and Tauriel sat cross-legged on the floor in front of him staring in rapt attention. Legolas and a couple other elves stood at the window looking down as if contemplating jumping. 

Fili stifled a snigger. He watched Kili do a little dance and spin and thought for a moment how glad he was that his little brother had grown up so happy and had not had to suffer his presence. He was sure that if Kili had grown up with Fili and the danger his lack of control had posed he would not be looking at that smile on his face right now. 

As it was he felt his beast turn over and purr at the sight of that dazzling smile, all white teeth and sunshine, and he sighed contentedly. 

A clink of armor from a passing guard wrenched him from his thoughts and he remembered what he had come there for.   
He waited for Kili to stop moving so much and face toward the door before he shot out his hand and waved it quickly, hoping to catch his brother’s attention. 

Kili paused when he saw something move in the periphery of his vision and focused on the doorway, but seeing nothing but empty space he went back to his story. 

Unfortunately when Kili had looked his way so had the elves and Fili had barely been able to pull back in time before being seen. He breathed quietly for a moment and peeked around the stone frame again. This time Kili spotted him and looked a bit surprised before he smiled warmly. 

Fili grinned and crooked a finger at him. 

Kili excused himself from Tauriel’s company regretfully. He liked how Tauriel listened to his every word as if it were a privilege and how she seemed to understand him so easily. Her voice echoed through him and he soared whenever he managed to pull a smile to her fair face.   
But Fili. Fili wanted him and he hadn’t seen his brother but twice in the last couple of days after decades of nothing. So as much as he wanted to stay with the she-elf and talk about stars and runes he wanted to speak with his brother more. 

“You look very mischievous today.” Kili said casually when he had left the room and turned about to see his brother hiding in the corner beside the doorway. He winked when Fili looked uncertain and was relieved when the expression relaxed and turned into a blinding smile. 

“I want to see more of Erebor. If I am to rule in Thorin’s stead I should know what I’m taking care of.” Fili announced, keeping his voice low. 

Kili raised a thick eyebrow. “And you would involve me in your exploits?” 

“Of course!” the blonde agreed readily. “You, my brother, shall show me around the lower mountain and show me all of its secrets. And I am eager to try this ale the guards seem to be so fond of.” He laughed at the startled expression on Kili’s face. “I just want to be among my people. That’s not so bad is it? I mean how much trouble could I possibly get into?” he asked, trying to ignore the way Kili’s scent kept getting caught in his nose. 

Kili scratched his neck thoughtfully. Dwalin would kill him if he knew he was helping Fili sneak around but Fili was right, how much trouble could he cause? No one could possibly recognize him now after all this time.   
He was about to ask why Fili just couldn’t wait until after the elves left to go back to Mirkwood but thought better of it.

“You’ve honestly never tasted ale?”

~~*~~

The brothers traveled down into the deep of the lower mountain to where the miners and their families lived and worked. It was a hive of activity there. Dwarves milled around talking and laughing, going about their daily lives cheerily. Music came from several houses to create a lively atmosphere that Fili fell in love with instantly. 

Lords and ladies that would normally be in the markets of the higher mountain traveled into the deep to barter for raw iron and gems fresh from the mines, and to share in a drink or two with their kin. 

Kili watched Fili’s face light up as they passed through a small market, blue eyes twinkling in the light of a thousand torches. He frowned. 

He had been to the lower city so many times that it had lost a lot of the excitement he had had for it as a child, so much so that he had sought out the marketplaces and pubs of Men instead. But Fili had never been down here, had never seen the jewels and trinkets they passed by, had never smelled the scent of meat roasting on the open flame in the center of the market square. 

It was all new to him and it made Kili’s heart squeeze painfully in his chest to think of all the years his brother had wasted of his life trapped in that room suffering from his illness. Determined to make this a good experience for him, Kili relaxed his shoulders and forced all the sad thoughts away so he could focus only on having fun and showing his brother the wonders of Erebor and its people. 

“Come on,” he laughed as they neared the entrance to the mines and the large cave-like tavern just above it. It was far noisier in this part of the town. Bangs and clangs from the mines mingling with the hooting of a drunken crowd of dwarves in the bar. He caught Fili’s hand and pulled him through the milling crowd and up the roughly hewn steps to the tavern. 

Fili’s eyes were wide as he looked around and Kili couldn’t help but grin at the sight as they entered the noisy bar. 

“I didn’t think so many people would be here,” Fili said, half shouting in Kili’s ear to be heard. Truth be told he was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic being around so many other dwarves at once. 

Kili grinned and looked down at him with his dark eyes twinkling in the light. “Bofur must be entertaining tonight.” 

“Who’s that?” Fili yelled back, curiosity peaked even more. 

Kili pointed to the middle of the room where a dwarf with an odd hat stood in the middle of a table dancing a lively jig.

Bofur was a miner, he worked hard for his living to support his family and was damn good at his job, but the thing the dwarves all seemed to agree on was that he was the most entertaining singer in the mountain. 

They managed to find a clear seat, once Kili was recognized and some dwarves relinquished their seats to the prince. No one had recognized Fili yet and that made Kili’s gut twist angrily. By all rights Fili should be getting even more shows of respect than Kili as he was Thorin’s heir.

Fili didn’t seem to notice or care as he watched Bofur sing and stomp his feet in time to the beat. 

“—but music turns her head like ale and makes her wave her tufted tail and dance upon the green.”

Kili ordered two tankards from a passing dwarf lass and sat back to watch Fili. Part of him couldn’t believe he was really here with his brother and kept wondering when he was going to wake up and find that Fili was still locked away. He wanted to reach out and touch just to be sure Fili was really there but too many years had passed between them and he wasn’t sure if his touch would be welcome. 

On the table Bofur did a quick back flip that had Fili lighting up with delight and Kili could feel himself melting inside. He didn’t think he had ever known a dwarf with warmer blue eyes.   
Absently, he rubbed a hand over the scars aching irritably under his shirt. 

“He’s brilliant!” Fili shouted at Kili, clapping his hands wildly when Bofur gave a low bow and jumped off the table for a break. “He must have loads of fun up there.” 

Kili nodded. “He does. I’ve known him for years and I haven’t met anyone else as happy as he is,” he said admiringly just as the dwarrowdam showed up with their drinks. He frowned at the extra tankards she had with her. 

“From some admirers,” she explained, smiling at Fili under her thick mustache and nodding towards the bar. 

Fili felt his face heat. He had no idea what the protocol was for this sort of thing. Dori had taught him many lessons in etiquette but he hadn’t covered this type of situation. Probably thinking he would never have to worry about it in the confines of his room. 

Kili laughed at him and looked over his shoulder at the bar to see the two dwarrowdams winking at Fili coyly. “Thanks very much!” he called to them. His chest tightened with a pang of jealousy that he quickly washed away with a long draught of ale. 

It was just because he hadn’t had Fili to himself in a long while, that was all it was. He didn’t want to share his brother’s attention tonight. 

Fili took his cue from Kili and nodded his thanks at the women and took a tentative sip of his own beer, pleasantly surprised at the rush of bubbles across his tongue and he quickly understood why Ori and Dwalin spoke of it so fondly.

Before he knew it his mug was empty and he was reaching for another with a happy smile on his face. He felt so loose, all tension drained from his body and he just felt warm and happy. 

Kili snorted into his own beer at the look on Fili’s face as he grabbed for a second tankard. He couldn’t believe what a lightweight his brother had turned out to be.

“You can’t be related to me,” Kili snickered. After all he was quite famous for his ability to drink anyone in the whole mountain under the table.

Fili’s dopey grin slid off his face slowly. “Then who ‘m I related to?” he asked confusedly. Last he had heard Kili was still his brother. It was true they didn’t look anything alike, he took after his father. Or that was what he was told. Maybe he wasn’t related to anyone and Amad and Thorin had just taken him in when no one else had wanted a monster-child.

He was suddenly very depressed. 

Seeing the dark cloud come over Fili’s face, Kili straightened up and couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to take his brother’s hand in his own. “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

The blonde prince shook his head and tried to pull away but Kili’s grip was firm. “Its nothin’,” he slurred. 

“Was it what I said?” Kili asked uncertainly. “Because you know I was only joking, I don’t care how much time separates us we’re still a family.” He squeezed Fili’s fingers gently before pulling back.   
He wasn’t sure what was going on in his brother’s head but he knew for dead certain that there were some issues they both were going to have to work through. 

Fili nodded, allowing the alcohol to soothe him. He was just being silly, of course Kili didn’t mean it. However, it wouldn’t hurt to make a note to have Ori look into his birth more closely.  
Kili was still staring at him with a worried-looking wrinkle in his brow so Fili gave him a smile to show he knew he was being stupid and was over it. Kili seemed to get the message as he quickly ordered two more ales. 

After that it didn’t take long to get the crown prince to loosen up and have fun. Kili dragged him onto the dance floor and taught him a jig that he promptly jumped on a table and did for the whole room.

Ale was good.


End file.
